Researchers say that, on average, a person makes 35,000 decisions a day.
Creamer in our coffee or black?
Get out of bed now or later?
Scratch our head with our left hand or our right?
Answer our phone or not?
There’s one decision that we often don’t think of as a choice – loving our spouse. We talk about love as if it’s an outside force. We say, “It was love at first sight.” Or we “fall in love.” Love is a feeling that we chalk up to chance or chemistry rather than making a conscious decision to act toward our spouse in loving ways.
The quality of your relationship at any given moment is always the culmination of little decisions that stack up over time. Big things impact a marriage, too. But most of the beauty in a relationship comes from the small choices we make every day.
Dr. Ron and Jan Welch are with us on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “The Best Choices You Can Make for Your Marriage” to explain how simple choices can transform your marriage in big ways. This was one of our most popular broadcasts of 2020, and you can listen to it on your local radio station, online, on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or on our free phone app.
They describe a concept known as “choice theory,” which says that, because God created us in His image as free moral agents, we have the opportunity to choose in every single situation. That means you can choose every day to honor your spouse and treat them with love and respect in every circumstance.
Small choices add up to big things. From date nights and romantic dinners to flowers and notes on the mirror, there are hundreds of little things to choose from every day to create the marriage you want. The only limit is your imagination.
For more ideas on choosing to love your spouse, I’d like to offer you a copy of 10 Choices Successful Couples Make: The Secret of a Love that Lasts a Lifetime for a gift of any amount. When you help Focus on the Family today, your donation will be doubled for twice the impact in helping others through this ministry. Our thanks to generous donors who’ve made that possible. Visit our website for more information.
Dr. Ron Welch is a clinical psychologist, who specializes in marriage and family dynamics. His wife, Jan, is a teacher who works with at-risk risk children.